I'm listening to Mat Kearney's 'Sooner or Later', the song made popular by Google's Zeitgest video, as I upload the pictures that can best summarise my 2011. I can't believe it's over already. Here we are, a few hours away from 2012.
I can't hide that tears fill my eyes as I write this post - yes I'm cheesy - because this is probably the first time I'm going to end the year without a single regret. You know how it goes, it's the countdown and the past year flashes before your eyes. I would normally spend those moments thinking 'I should have done that' or 'That shouldn't have affected me so much' and most importantly 'I should have been brave enough to do it'. This year, however, the story is completely different.
Looking back at where I was last year, I can't believe who I was and what I was doing with my life. At the end of 2010 I was completely devoured by fear and anxiety. I was aware that I was growing up and I refused to move on. I just wanted to freeze time and enjoy these pre-adulthood moments for as long as I could. Thing is, I wasn't really enjoying anything, for the fear of life and its ups and downs, does not allow you to savour the little pleasures of our existence.
The main reason why I kept holding on and being afraid was that I had no idea who I was. 'How can I go out in the world not knowing who I am?' was the question I kept posing myself. Every morning, I woke up thinking that something or someone would just help me find the answer to the 'who am I?' question, until one day I just woke up and realised that's not the way it works. YOU define yourself. Not society. Not your family. Not your job. You are the key to your own destiny. You just have to surround yourself with the right people and keep doing what you love doing most and you'll be sorted.
It was this newfound confidence that changed me profoundly, so drastically I can barely believe it. In 2011, I finally found the courage to face my fears, stand up for myself, be myself and do what I always wanted to do. I had to take some very difficult decisions, I let some people down with my actions, but I had to do it. For myself, for once. I never felt so 'me' in my life.
Heh, I think I've bored you enough with my sermon over here so let me move on. I would like to wish you all the best for 2012. Please believe in yourself and your abilities and try your hardest for 2012. You'll be as surprised as myself next year when you realise that your life has changed completely and that YOU brought about that change. Follow your instinct, it bloody works.
2012 is going to be the year where all the hard work of 2011 will bear its fruit. I honestly can't wait. This was my last full year as a student. This was the year I bought my badass camera. This was the year I started blogging. This was the year I got published. This was the year where people in the fashion industry noticed my existence. This was the year where I added Chanel and YSL to my closet. Most importantly, this was the year I re-discovered the love for life. 2012 has some pretty big shoes to fill, but I know it's going to be great. I know it, my heart says so!
Once again, bestest of wishes to everyone and THANK YOU for spending some time to read my work. You all have made my year, my transition and my world better each and every single day.
Here are a few of my favourite photos from 2011.